Book Review: Secrets, Lies & Chat, by Greg Tingle

When I first became aware of "Secrets, Lies and Chat", (the book, not the concept), I immediately became curious, as I already had a strong grasp on the subject.

Yes, Vena McGrath's e-mail came through into my in-box (as I no longer chat), and I experienced an element of excitement, intrigue and danger, (all as my promotional mind went into upswing).

Let's face it - Internet chatting and "fast fucks" are here to stay. "Chatting" can be contagious, and is very time-consuming, so these are just a few areas where people get into strife.

My first encounter with anything resembling Internet chat was when I "inherited" a computer 5 years ago at an I.S.P (Internet Service Provider), which will remain nameless.

The staff did mention to me that "Johnny" was quite a ladies man, and often went on dates. Just how he secured his steady flow of ladies I was still yet to learn.

After having "hooked-up" the Internet connection to my new "work tool" (the computer), the e-mails came through hot and heavy. For every 10 work-related e-mails coming through, there was one from an Internet dating service.

At this juncture in my life, my marriage was already strained, and it wasn't happing in the bedroom. I was quick to realise that the Internet opened up vast new opportunities for me, that were much further reaching than my job!

For many months I saw the "sexy dating" e-mail offers come through, and they were primarily based in Sydney, Australia. Heck, if you clicked on the hyperlink, you could even search for dates in your local region.

After becoming more familiar with my new "work tool", I located something called "ICQ" and Yahoo! Messenger, which I later learned was the happening thing in Internet chat, at that point. ICQ and Yahoo! are still around, by the way, for those of you still curious. I fired up the chat tools, and before you could say, *uck me, offers from real woman in Sydney were coming through. "a/s/l" (age/sex/location). At first I resited temptation, then I bit the bullet, and liked the sound of a few of them, and I asked the chatters for their phone numbers, and to my near surprise, many of them were forthcoming. Unable to keep up with my chat liaisons at work, I installed the computer program on my home computer. You guessed it, the phone calls led to face-to-face meetings, in many cases, just after work, which fitted in with my new, exciting lifestyle.

Sure, not everyone turned up, as is an indication of unreliable and untrustworthy folks who relish in the Internet, but if you played the "numbers game", there was already plenty of "fresh meet".

Internet chatting seems to come with the assumption that "fast *ucking" is pretty much the norm (and often, no one need ask if the other party is married), as both conspirators already know the answer to that one, and generally neither seem to care. It didn't stop Vena, not myself, and it won't stop you and yours either, after they get hooked on chat.

So, what's the harm in Internet "chatting"? It's often immoral and many friends and family of those concerned can be deeply hurt. It's too easy to tell "white lies" (which can turn into black lies), and the anonymity of the Internet seems to attract those of dubious nature, and the we is known to harbour a great deal of illegal behaviour. Would you date a Nigerian Bank Officer? (even if her photo looked hot) Ok, you get the point.

Vena McGrath's tale is not uncommon, but it is rare for someone with such vast and "colourful" experience in Internet chatting, to let it all hang out for public consumption.

Unlike many of Vena's encounters that led to face-to-face meetings, I can only count 3 chatting sessions that actually led to a sexy face-to-face meetings, which I didn't conduct in my bedroom! The third meeting I struck out, as I met a "nutter", but I didn't realise it at the time. First we chatted, then swapped photos (both more complimentary photos than reality at that particular second). This young lady was an expert and let's say, old hand, at chatting. I met her for a "harmless" game of squash, we swapped handball, hardball, forehand, then a little foreplay. Before you knew it, she invited me home, as you would expect. Everything looked normal enough. Whist this was going on, I was receiving other SMS's and e-mails with other "opportunities", but needless to say, I ran!

She proceeded telling me about all of the dangers of the Internet, blokes that she has met, (including an "Internet Conman"), and worse. We have all experienced it - someone "dumps" on you, about all of the negativity in their life. What happened to the perfect woman, or at least, the prefect meeting? I was being led into her web of darkness, but wasn't fully aware of it at the time.

Next thing, she questioned my dating and personal situation (being smart and cunning enough to know that she can't have been the only "chatter" in my life). I advised her that I was in the process of getting a divorce (which I was), and she appreciated my honesty.

The funny thing is, unlike many of Vena's encounters, this liaison never led to "full on" sex, as it became obvious to me, from big hints, that she had been raped by an Internet "chatter". One of the other liaisons with "chatters" did lead to hot sex, but she wasn't a "nutter". This feisty, young "thing" just wanted quick sex, with no ties, and I was "up" for it.

A few moths after meeting "Squash Girl", I knew I needed to get away, because she seemed to have strong criminal (and she said, "legal" connections), in addition to just being one big headcase.

I had actually left a couple of personal belongings at her place, but in the end, after her breaking the appointment to meet (in a public place), to exchange belongings, I thought it easier (and safer), to forget my things, and keep my life and wellbeing. For a while she continued to send me e-mails, and often wrote "don't call, respond via e-mail or SMS", obviously attempting to "set me up" for something. It's a well-known fact that e-mails and e-transmission are often used in a court of law, when things go sour between parties.

The end result was (and is), a relentless stalker! Public holidays and full moons are her speciality. Yes, these kinds of liaisons are dangerous. I am one of the multitudes who has been "scarred for life", thanks to Internet chat, but one of the few to go public. It's to be noted that its just not fun and games (and lots of easy sex). Eventually, I had to contact Australia's top 2 "telcos" and advise them that I had a stalker, and I didn't want to receive any more telephone, electronic or any other contact from her. It can happen to you also.

As "Secrets, Lies and Chat" is about to hit the shelves, radical, new Internet laws are coming into effect in Australia and indeed, the world. Finally, the legal system has caught up to the wrath of terror known as chat. For traditionalists, "let's catch up for a quick chat", will never be the same again. The world has changed. Having said that, criminals are always striving to be one step ahead of the game, so ready yourself for the new reign of Internet dangers, that could easily be disguised as a new wave of chat.

Internet "chatting" is something the world can do without. Let Vena's "adventure" satisfy your curiosity, and stop the temptation there.

"Secrets, Lies and Chat" could just be the next best-seller the world has been waiting for, covering the dos and donts of the Internet chatting world. My advice, read about it, don't do it, unless you want to get into the thick of it!

Links:

Book Reviews

Secrets, Lies & Chat, by Greg Tingle & Yvette Moore

Secrets, Lies & Chat, by Yvette Moore

Articles

The net effect - 24th April 2004

Cyberstalking is more real than you think, by Greg Tingle

Dating on the internet, by Greg Tingle

Interviews

Vena McGrath

Jayne Hitchcock